If you have seen the new (relatively) movie "The Karate Kid", you will know the part where Jackie Chan askes the young boy what he sees in the water. "My reflection." Then he disturbs the water, and the boy can no longer see clearly.
Take that as deep as you can. I'm sitting here in my garage, my homeschool room, looking out on a clear scene. I can see my street...the cars, the trees, the houses. The mail lady just came by. It is remarkably still outside. Now a wind blows and the image is distorted. I can no longer see as clearly, and with all the shifting of tree branches, I wonder if I really saw what I thought I saw.
It occurs to me that life is much like that. There are times when all is well. We have money, peace in our households, friends, a car, a job, and whatever else makes life grand. Our life is like a picture already taken...still and "picture perfect". I don't know about you, but my life generally does not stay that way. Goodness, in my house that status could change in a matter of minutes in either direction!
More often our lifes are like that water in the fountain that has been disturbed. It's hard for us to see, not just ourselves, but also the things around us. Depending on how great the distrubance will depend on how distorted the picture. There are times I have looked at my life and I wasn't even really sure it belonged to me! Surely this messed up picture has to belong to someone else!
So what do we do? Perhaps we could ask someone else to look for us. Would we really get the right picture? Our spouses would see the picture with eyes clouded by love. Our friends, depending on the day, might see it clouded by hope for us or even envy. Our children...well, let's be honest they would tell us exactly what we want to hear! A perfect stranger? Would we really trust what they would say...or would doubt linger in our minds?
If we can trust no one else, and even we cannot see the picture clearly, then what ought we to do? Maybe it's time to stop looking. Maybe our reflection is not as important as we think it is. Maybe we spend so much time looking at our reflection, trying to make it perfect that we miss our opportunity to do what God would have us do in this world.
Will we ever achieve perfection in this life? No. Will we ever reach a stage in our lives where conflict and distrubances will cease to be? No. Will we ever be able to see, clearly, the plan God has for us? Not in this life time.
Stop trying so hard to keep the waters of life still. Instead remember: So as He cares for the birds of the air, He will provide for you. He will never leave you, nor forsake you. His yoke is easy, His burden is light. He loves you.
"Which of you can add a single day to his life by worrying?" Worry is a part of human nature...but we have a choice - we can cling to worry or we can let it go. We can pray or we can fret. We can give it to God or we can keep staring at that reflection hoping when it clears we will like what we see.
Remember, God intended for us to be a light unto the world. Try an experiment...shine a bright light into a flat pan of water. Can you clearly see anything? No. Trust in God and His commands. Instead of looking for you, shine for others.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Kids
I sat here this morning, watching the news. To my shock there is a news story about 6th graders planning to "shoot up the school and then commit suicide by either hanging or shooting themselves". 6th graders!!
Many people's initial reaction is "where are the parents?" Maybe that is true. Where are they? Are they at work - maybe 2 or 3 jobs to make ends meet? Are they "super" moms and dads, doing all those volunteer things, with a perfect house and outer appearance? Or are they simple folks, maybe one or both parents work, but they keep up with their kids' homework, asking how their kids' day went, constantly reaching out, perhaps only to be denied?
How quick we are to jump and place blame! I will admit to you that my oldest daughter was bullied all last year, and inspite of my "taking an active interest" in her life, she never said anything to me until this year. How awful I felt!! My child was being hurt, and I was nowhere to be found. What kind of parent am I?
Then I thought about it...I was there, but maybe I didn't see the signs or say the right things. I was there, but maybe she really didn't want me to know. There are so many different possibilities that it is pointless to go over them. I know all I can do is my best. I can be there when she wants to talk, to not deny her access to me. I can take action when she asks for help. I can let her know that I really do love her and would do just about anything for her.
I cannot make her talk. I cannot make her ask for help. I cannot make her accept my love, or trust me, or accept my advice.
Neither can the parents of those 6th graders. Kids are not hardwired to love, trust or accept their parents. They are individuals, who will make up their minds based off of their experiences.
There is a scripture that says "Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, when you have a plank in your own?" (probably not exact, but you get the point.) I think we really need to look at our own lives, our own children. I think we need to re-evaluate our lives. Are we "picture perfect" on the outside? Are we so focused on making money that is excludes everything else? I'm not laying blame on parents who have to work 2 jobs just to make ends meet, but this is focused on those who make money simply so they can have that ever elusive "more". Are we the type of parent who believes in "a child should be seen and not heard"?
Parents tend to say "I know how you feel, I went through that as a kid too". Yes, we have all experienced bullying...but we did not have it on facebook, google, youtube, ect. We did not have the temptation of sexting. Material goods are more important than ever in our society. Dressing just right might not be a new thing, but the style sure has changed.
Times have changed. The world can seem to be a scary place. Kids have sooo much they have to acomplish at an even younger age if they want to have a "chance for success". The stress they endure is certainly more than the stress we endured.
Scripture says "worry about nothing, but pray about everything". I certainly believe we need to pray for our children, our communities and our nation. Something is wrong. We must be aware. We must be focused on our CHILDREN first and foremost. They are our future...but only if they live to see it.
Many people's initial reaction is "where are the parents?" Maybe that is true. Where are they? Are they at work - maybe 2 or 3 jobs to make ends meet? Are they "super" moms and dads, doing all those volunteer things, with a perfect house and outer appearance? Or are they simple folks, maybe one or both parents work, but they keep up with their kids' homework, asking how their kids' day went, constantly reaching out, perhaps only to be denied?
How quick we are to jump and place blame! I will admit to you that my oldest daughter was bullied all last year, and inspite of my "taking an active interest" in her life, she never said anything to me until this year. How awful I felt!! My child was being hurt, and I was nowhere to be found. What kind of parent am I?
Then I thought about it...I was there, but maybe I didn't see the signs or say the right things. I was there, but maybe she really didn't want me to know. There are so many different possibilities that it is pointless to go over them. I know all I can do is my best. I can be there when she wants to talk, to not deny her access to me. I can take action when she asks for help. I can let her know that I really do love her and would do just about anything for her.
I cannot make her talk. I cannot make her ask for help. I cannot make her accept my love, or trust me, or accept my advice.
Neither can the parents of those 6th graders. Kids are not hardwired to love, trust or accept their parents. They are individuals, who will make up their minds based off of their experiences.
There is a scripture that says "Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, when you have a plank in your own?" (probably not exact, but you get the point.) I think we really need to look at our own lives, our own children. I think we need to re-evaluate our lives. Are we "picture perfect" on the outside? Are we so focused on making money that is excludes everything else? I'm not laying blame on parents who have to work 2 jobs just to make ends meet, but this is focused on those who make money simply so they can have that ever elusive "more". Are we the type of parent who believes in "a child should be seen and not heard"?
Parents tend to say "I know how you feel, I went through that as a kid too". Yes, we have all experienced bullying...but we did not have it on facebook, google, youtube, ect. We did not have the temptation of sexting. Material goods are more important than ever in our society. Dressing just right might not be a new thing, but the style sure has changed.
Times have changed. The world can seem to be a scary place. Kids have sooo much they have to acomplish at an even younger age if they want to have a "chance for success". The stress they endure is certainly more than the stress we endured.
Scripture says "worry about nothing, but pray about everything". I certainly believe we need to pray for our children, our communities and our nation. Something is wrong. We must be aware. We must be focused on our CHILDREN first and foremost. They are our future...but only if they live to see it.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
The Armor of God
Today was a lesson with my children that I hope I never forget. We talked about the armor that God gives us. I think it is worth it to write it down.
I figured my son would get a kick out of this lesson. On the worksheet was pictured a Roman solider in full gear. So we read the Scripture Eph. 6:13-17, and Katie (my oldest daughter) asked how can the Word of God be a sword...and that was all it took to get us started!
First we put on the helmet of salvation. Emily said since we believe, we are sealed and so we wear the helmet all the time. However, I know this is not true. Sometimes we forget that we are saved. We forget that God has sealed us up so that no one and nothing can take us away from Him. We forget He has given us a new name. When we forget that, we forget to put on the helmet that leaves our minds vulnerable to the evil one. He starts to whisper that God won't forgive us for that sin...that we are not worthy of the thing called salvation. He twists us around and makes us think that we must earn what was freely given. We must remember the helmet of salvation.
Then we have the breastplate of righteousness. In our class, righteousness means "right with God". We can forget to put on the breastplate if we do not do what God asks of us. If we turn away from what God wants because it is too hard, it is uncomfortable, or we think it is not possible. When we forget the breastplate, we leave our hearts vulnerable. The evil one starts to tell us that God does not love us, and that He might leave us. God's love is the basis of our faith...if we forget the breastplate, then we forget to treasure God's love for us.
Next comes the belt of truth. What do belts do? They hold up your pants. My children decided that we would all look pretty foolish if we had our pants around our ankles. When we forget the belt of truth, we forget that God's Word is true. The evil one finds ways to make us look and feel foolish when we get caught in our lies and "half-truths". Always buckle on the belt of truth to keep the truth of God close to you.
Then we have the sheild of faith. We use our faith to sheild us from temptation, from lies, from harm. When we forget to have faith in the God we cannot physically see, then we allow temptation and lies to creep into our lives. We are pierced by arrows of hurt that are flung by the evil one. When we hold up our faith, nothing can get through.
The sword of the spirit. The Word of God. Nothing cuts through lies faster. Nothing slayes the enemy quicker. We must know what God says to us and for us, in order for us to be able to live in the world without falling pray to the lies of the evil one. When we are tempted, just like Christ, all it takes is the sword, the Word, to cut that temptation down to size. When we forget the sword, we leave ourselves open to assault without a weapon to fight it.
Finally the shoes of peace. We when go forth in this world it is not with that of a warring nature, but that of a peaceful one. When we stop needing to fight with our neighbors, our family, our friends, and even ourselves, we become peaceful. It is so hard for the devil to get through to those who are at peace. I think it makes him jump up and down with fury, that he cannot ignite us with harmful passions. When we put on the shoes of peace, not only is our life better, but we improve the lives of those around us with our peace. Does this mean that peaceful people agree with everyone? No. It does mean, though, that a peaceful person accepts their faith, without needing approval from others. It means you can disagree and teach others the way, without being sidetracked into warring emotions.
Everyday, get up and think that you are putting on each piece of the armor. Everyday, think to yourself, these are the weapons God has gifted to me in order to make it though this life. If you can do this, if you can live a life of peace and faith then you will become a brilliant light in the darkness. People will surround you and want to know your "secret". Then you will be able to carry on the Great Commission...to tell all the nations the Good News...that Christ is risen, the grave could not hold Him, and for the price of your faith and acceptance in Him, you can have life everlasting.
Be that light! God has given you all you need to be the "lamp on a stand"!
I figured my son would get a kick out of this lesson. On the worksheet was pictured a Roman solider in full gear. So we read the Scripture Eph. 6:13-17, and Katie (my oldest daughter) asked how can the Word of God be a sword...and that was all it took to get us started!
First we put on the helmet of salvation. Emily said since we believe, we are sealed and so we wear the helmet all the time. However, I know this is not true. Sometimes we forget that we are saved. We forget that God has sealed us up so that no one and nothing can take us away from Him. We forget He has given us a new name. When we forget that, we forget to put on the helmet that leaves our minds vulnerable to the evil one. He starts to whisper that God won't forgive us for that sin...that we are not worthy of the thing called salvation. He twists us around and makes us think that we must earn what was freely given. We must remember the helmet of salvation.
Then we have the breastplate of righteousness. In our class, righteousness means "right with God". We can forget to put on the breastplate if we do not do what God asks of us. If we turn away from what God wants because it is too hard, it is uncomfortable, or we think it is not possible. When we forget the breastplate, we leave our hearts vulnerable. The evil one starts to tell us that God does not love us, and that He might leave us. God's love is the basis of our faith...if we forget the breastplate, then we forget to treasure God's love for us.
Next comes the belt of truth. What do belts do? They hold up your pants. My children decided that we would all look pretty foolish if we had our pants around our ankles. When we forget the belt of truth, we forget that God's Word is true. The evil one finds ways to make us look and feel foolish when we get caught in our lies and "half-truths". Always buckle on the belt of truth to keep the truth of God close to you.
Then we have the sheild of faith. We use our faith to sheild us from temptation, from lies, from harm. When we forget to have faith in the God we cannot physically see, then we allow temptation and lies to creep into our lives. We are pierced by arrows of hurt that are flung by the evil one. When we hold up our faith, nothing can get through.
The sword of the spirit. The Word of God. Nothing cuts through lies faster. Nothing slayes the enemy quicker. We must know what God says to us and for us, in order for us to be able to live in the world without falling pray to the lies of the evil one. When we are tempted, just like Christ, all it takes is the sword, the Word, to cut that temptation down to size. When we forget the sword, we leave ourselves open to assault without a weapon to fight it.
Finally the shoes of peace. We when go forth in this world it is not with that of a warring nature, but that of a peaceful one. When we stop needing to fight with our neighbors, our family, our friends, and even ourselves, we become peaceful. It is so hard for the devil to get through to those who are at peace. I think it makes him jump up and down with fury, that he cannot ignite us with harmful passions. When we put on the shoes of peace, not only is our life better, but we improve the lives of those around us with our peace. Does this mean that peaceful people agree with everyone? No. It does mean, though, that a peaceful person accepts their faith, without needing approval from others. It means you can disagree and teach others the way, without being sidetracked into warring emotions.
Everyday, get up and think that you are putting on each piece of the armor. Everyday, think to yourself, these are the weapons God has gifted to me in order to make it though this life. If you can do this, if you can live a life of peace and faith then you will become a brilliant light in the darkness. People will surround you and want to know your "secret". Then you will be able to carry on the Great Commission...to tell all the nations the Good News...that Christ is risen, the grave could not hold Him, and for the price of your faith and acceptance in Him, you can have life everlasting.
Be that light! God has given you all you need to be the "lamp on a stand"!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Remembering
Today is the anniversary of 9/11. I know others will write about this day, many with more eloquence than I ever could, but I feel the need to write.
I will never be able to forget that day. I was a young Senior Airman, serving at Maxwell AFB. Seeing as how I was recently divorced, renting an apartment for for the first time ever and paying off bills from my former marriage - I was broke. Like so broke I didn't have cable. I also worked shift and was currently snoozing on my couch when the phone woke me up. My mom called to ask if I had heard the news. I said no...Mom, duh, I'm sleeping. She told me to turn on the TV and watch the news. I told her I didn't have cable and couldn't get the news. After she got over that shock, she proceeded to tell me that planes had slammed into the WTC towers. My reaction was "what? No way." She told me I should get to a TV. After I hung up I sat stunned. There was no way, what a horrible accident. Something prompted me to get into my uniform even though it wasn't even 9 am and I didn't work until 2:45 pm.
I went to my friend Karen's house. She lived in base housing, but it was off base so there was no monster line to get in. I don't remember much about what we said to each other. I remember her being worried about her husband and her kid ( I think he was in childcare at the time). All I could focus on were the images on the TV...one after another after another. This was not an accident. This was intentional. This was evil. I passed the rest of the day in shock.
Getting on base was time consuming. Why in the world were all these people flocking to an AF base? I mean really?? I would be going the opposite direction personally. (If I didn't have to work)
The area I worked in made it so I would see message traffic between bases...I cannot tell you about them, but I will tell you for the first time in my life I felt helpless and terrified.
As the days passed you saw flags EVERYWHERE! And we were no where near NYC. I was so proud to be an American. I watched our country pull together. I watched heroes do things no one thought were possible. I watched widows cry out. I watched as America went to war.
It is now 11 years later. Once again our country is torn apart by politics and hatred. Our country is divided. The flags have come down. America is no longer at war, even though our military forces still fight and die in a foreign land. 11 years later and my pride in the America that was is gone, replaced by a fear of what is to come.
Osama bin Laden is dead. Yet his legacy lives on. I hope it does not take another tragedy of that proportion to bring this country back together again. I hope we all remember the terrible price that was paid that day. I hope we teach our children and they teach their children to remember, to honor and to respect those who were impacted that day. I hope we teach our children what America is supposed to be about - "The land of the free. The home of the brave."
We pay a price to stay free, with blood, sweat, tears, seperation, fear and hope. That pice is paid by the brave - those who serve here at home, those who serve in the armed forces, those who serve those that serve our country.
May we all find the courage to be brave.
I will never be able to forget that day. I was a young Senior Airman, serving at Maxwell AFB. Seeing as how I was recently divorced, renting an apartment for for the first time ever and paying off bills from my former marriage - I was broke. Like so broke I didn't have cable. I also worked shift and was currently snoozing on my couch when the phone woke me up. My mom called to ask if I had heard the news. I said no...Mom, duh, I'm sleeping. She told me to turn on the TV and watch the news. I told her I didn't have cable and couldn't get the news. After she got over that shock, she proceeded to tell me that planes had slammed into the WTC towers. My reaction was "what? No way." She told me I should get to a TV. After I hung up I sat stunned. There was no way, what a horrible accident. Something prompted me to get into my uniform even though it wasn't even 9 am and I didn't work until 2:45 pm.
I went to my friend Karen's house. She lived in base housing, but it was off base so there was no monster line to get in. I don't remember much about what we said to each other. I remember her being worried about her husband and her kid ( I think he was in childcare at the time). All I could focus on were the images on the TV...one after another after another. This was not an accident. This was intentional. This was evil. I passed the rest of the day in shock.
Getting on base was time consuming. Why in the world were all these people flocking to an AF base? I mean really?? I would be going the opposite direction personally. (If I didn't have to work)
The area I worked in made it so I would see message traffic between bases...I cannot tell you about them, but I will tell you for the first time in my life I felt helpless and terrified.
As the days passed you saw flags EVERYWHERE! And we were no where near NYC. I was so proud to be an American. I watched our country pull together. I watched heroes do things no one thought were possible. I watched widows cry out. I watched as America went to war.
It is now 11 years later. Once again our country is torn apart by politics and hatred. Our country is divided. The flags have come down. America is no longer at war, even though our military forces still fight and die in a foreign land. 11 years later and my pride in the America that was is gone, replaced by a fear of what is to come.
Osama bin Laden is dead. Yet his legacy lives on. I hope it does not take another tragedy of that proportion to bring this country back together again. I hope we all remember the terrible price that was paid that day. I hope we teach our children and they teach their children to remember, to honor and to respect those who were impacted that day. I hope we teach our children what America is supposed to be about - "The land of the free. The home of the brave."
We pay a price to stay free, with blood, sweat, tears, seperation, fear and hope. That pice is paid by the brave - those who serve here at home, those who serve in the armed forces, those who serve those that serve our country.
May we all find the courage to be brave.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Warning! Religion ahead!
I am a Christian. I hope I have never hidden that fact. Today, I find myself afraid. Afraid for my children, afraid for the future, afraid for our teachers, leaders, military personnel. I am afraid of what my nation is becoming. I am afraid that one day I will not be able to write this for fear of doing jail time. I am simply afraid.
I am a Christian. I teach my children Christian values. NO, that does not mean I teach my children to hate, to point fingers, to say bad things about others. NO, that does not mean that I hate, point fingers, or say bad things about others. I teach my children what the Bible says about creation and what science says too. I let them wrap their minds around those two different things and answer their questions as best I can. I have to admit though, we really don't hang out to much in Genesis 1...there are other, important things to learn about in the Bible. Such as how to live our lives.
My oldest daughter is 8 and already she has been called stupid for having faith in God. Already she has been told by OTHER CHILDREN that there is no God. My son tells me he did not like to pray over his lunch because people would ask him why he was doing that. In some public schools prayer is called a distraction. Yet, my 5 year old daughter knew the word sexy in kindergarten, and that is certainly not a distraction.
What are we doing as a nation?? Why are we singling out the Christian faith as one that is bad and wrong? Other faiths receive the support of our government, not this one. Sure, one can argue we still have a national day of prayer. Someone still comes and prays over congress. We still have God on our money and in our pledge. And yet at the DNC reinstating God was met with boos! Boos!!! People are arrested for handing out Bibles in the street. High school seniors are told to take God out of their speeches. Military commanders are not allowed to say anything about the chapel on base.
Something is wrong with our country. You may not be a Christian, and that is ok. But please don't teach your children to make fun of those who are. Please don't boo the mention of my God. Simply remain silent. Please do not vote to remove my rights to worship as I choose and I will do the same for you. We as a country are supposed to have religious tolerance. What happened??
I am a Christian, please don't hate me, or fear me, or run from me, or mock me. I am human just like you...I just place my hope and trust in Jesus Christ. I cannot make you do the same, and I will not hound you to "convert, convert!". I will trust that my actions will speak louder than any words I could speak. I will trust my God to work in my life as He wills it, just as He will in yours. I'm sorry if that offends you. I love you anyway.
I am a Christian. I teach my children Christian values. NO, that does not mean I teach my children to hate, to point fingers, to say bad things about others. NO, that does not mean that I hate, point fingers, or say bad things about others. I teach my children what the Bible says about creation and what science says too. I let them wrap their minds around those two different things and answer their questions as best I can. I have to admit though, we really don't hang out to much in Genesis 1...there are other, important things to learn about in the Bible. Such as how to live our lives.
My oldest daughter is 8 and already she has been called stupid for having faith in God. Already she has been told by OTHER CHILDREN that there is no God. My son tells me he did not like to pray over his lunch because people would ask him why he was doing that. In some public schools prayer is called a distraction. Yet, my 5 year old daughter knew the word sexy in kindergarten, and that is certainly not a distraction.
What are we doing as a nation?? Why are we singling out the Christian faith as one that is bad and wrong? Other faiths receive the support of our government, not this one. Sure, one can argue we still have a national day of prayer. Someone still comes and prays over congress. We still have God on our money and in our pledge. And yet at the DNC reinstating God was met with boos! Boos!!! People are arrested for handing out Bibles in the street. High school seniors are told to take God out of their speeches. Military commanders are not allowed to say anything about the chapel on base.
Something is wrong with our country. You may not be a Christian, and that is ok. But please don't teach your children to make fun of those who are. Please don't boo the mention of my God. Simply remain silent. Please do not vote to remove my rights to worship as I choose and I will do the same for you. We as a country are supposed to have religious tolerance. What happened??
I am a Christian, please don't hate me, or fear me, or run from me, or mock me. I am human just like you...I just place my hope and trust in Jesus Christ. I cannot make you do the same, and I will not hound you to "convert, convert!". I will trust that my actions will speak louder than any words I could speak. I will trust my God to work in my life as He wills it, just as He will in yours. I'm sorry if that offends you. I love you anyway.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Self Reflection
I am a doer. You might think "Hey, nothing wrong with that". However, I'm a doer to the exlusion of everything else. I know, that makes no sense. Let me explain:
Have you ever had someone tell you to meditate? Maybe to meditate on God's word, or do that yoga "hmmmm" thing, or just to have some downtime where you think about something. I was once told that I should clear my mind and try to simply be at peace. My question was "How in the world do you clear your mind"? My mind is a busy place! She told me to envision a white wall with nothing on it. To be fair, I tried...really I did! Do you know what happened? I closed my eyes and brought up that white wall. Then, suddenly, it got blue lines on it....and a red stripe down the left hand side...and then three holes along the left side. Yup...my white wall was now a giant piece of paper on which I proceeded to write my plans for the day on. Sigh.
I have caught myself during prayer at church with my mind wandering. I have caught myself not really paying attention to my husband, instead planning my day tomorrow. I have even caught myself blowing off my kids because I really "needed" to get that laundry done! Ugh.
I'm that person who volunteers for EVERYTHING. Yes, everything. I volunteer to work in the baby room and I have no more babies. I volunteer to run boothes, and orgainizations, and potlucks, and whatever else you can think of. Ask me for help, and I will not tell you no. (shhhh...don't spread that around!) I have always felt, if I am capable of helping then I should. God would not give me these talents (such as they are) if He did not want me to use them.
However, therein lies the problem. I do so much, that I very rarely have time to just BE. You know, be alone, be quiet, be still, be with God. All those things are asked of me in my walk with God. But I mean, come on...just sitting there, listening for God's voice?? I am better at handling a room full of screaming kids than I am at that one.
I have walked this walk for 10 years, almost 11. You'd think I would learn...discover some trick or handy hint to making this part of me better. Or maybe you are thinking, why is all this activity a bad thing?
It is bad, and we all know why. It's called burn out. How many times have you looked around at your life, and wished, just once, that someone else would do it? Not forever, but a day, maybe two, would be really nice. How many times have you looked around and wondered if anyone really cared? How many times have you wondered if this is really what God meant when He said we can only serve one Master? And how many times have you ended up at the doctors office because you became sick, unable to sleep, you hair was falling out, you had massive headaches...or worse you could find no joy in life anymore?
As I have walked this path, I will be honest, I cannot say it has gotten easier. Indeed, in some ways it is harder. I can no longer plead ignorance in my walk. I know what God has called me to do and I know what happens when I ignore Him. The opportunities I have to volunteer have not gone away. The guilt when I say no certainly has not gone away. I am still a doer, and I don't think that will ever change.
So, what does a doer like me do? Compromise. I now have a new rule for me. Before I take on anything new, I think "How will this affect my kids, my husband? Will I still have time for my Bible study? Is God asking me to do this, or is my guilt getting the better of me?" Does this work everytime...no. Namely because I don't do this everytime! It has gotten better though.
My final act for each day is to go over my day with God. To thank Him for the good, ask Him for help with the bad. To say sorry for the sins I committed. To pray for those I know and love. There are times when I fall asleep while talking to God. My husband says that is a high compliment to God...afterall, He was my very last thought for the day.
Enjoy the day!
Have you ever had someone tell you to meditate? Maybe to meditate on God's word, or do that yoga "hmmmm" thing, or just to have some downtime where you think about something. I was once told that I should clear my mind and try to simply be at peace. My question was "How in the world do you clear your mind"? My mind is a busy place! She told me to envision a white wall with nothing on it. To be fair, I tried...really I did! Do you know what happened? I closed my eyes and brought up that white wall. Then, suddenly, it got blue lines on it....and a red stripe down the left hand side...and then three holes along the left side. Yup...my white wall was now a giant piece of paper on which I proceeded to write my plans for the day on. Sigh.
I have caught myself during prayer at church with my mind wandering. I have caught myself not really paying attention to my husband, instead planning my day tomorrow. I have even caught myself blowing off my kids because I really "needed" to get that laundry done! Ugh.
I'm that person who volunteers for EVERYTHING. Yes, everything. I volunteer to work in the baby room and I have no more babies. I volunteer to run boothes, and orgainizations, and potlucks, and whatever else you can think of. Ask me for help, and I will not tell you no. (shhhh...don't spread that around!) I have always felt, if I am capable of helping then I should. God would not give me these talents (such as they are) if He did not want me to use them.
However, therein lies the problem. I do so much, that I very rarely have time to just BE. You know, be alone, be quiet, be still, be with God. All those things are asked of me in my walk with God. But I mean, come on...just sitting there, listening for God's voice?? I am better at handling a room full of screaming kids than I am at that one.
I have walked this walk for 10 years, almost 11. You'd think I would learn...discover some trick or handy hint to making this part of me better. Or maybe you are thinking, why is all this activity a bad thing?
It is bad, and we all know why. It's called burn out. How many times have you looked around at your life, and wished, just once, that someone else would do it? Not forever, but a day, maybe two, would be really nice. How many times have you looked around and wondered if anyone really cared? How many times have you wondered if this is really what God meant when He said we can only serve one Master? And how many times have you ended up at the doctors office because you became sick, unable to sleep, you hair was falling out, you had massive headaches...or worse you could find no joy in life anymore?
As I have walked this path, I will be honest, I cannot say it has gotten easier. Indeed, in some ways it is harder. I can no longer plead ignorance in my walk. I know what God has called me to do and I know what happens when I ignore Him. The opportunities I have to volunteer have not gone away. The guilt when I say no certainly has not gone away. I am still a doer, and I don't think that will ever change.
So, what does a doer like me do? Compromise. I now have a new rule for me. Before I take on anything new, I think "How will this affect my kids, my husband? Will I still have time for my Bible study? Is God asking me to do this, or is my guilt getting the better of me?" Does this work everytime...no. Namely because I don't do this everytime! It has gotten better though.
My final act for each day is to go over my day with God. To thank Him for the good, ask Him for help with the bad. To say sorry for the sins I committed. To pray for those I know and love. There are times when I fall asleep while talking to God. My husband says that is a high compliment to God...afterall, He was my very last thought for the day.
Enjoy the day!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Lifestyles
I am a military wife. I send my husband off to work everyday, just like you do. My husband just wears a uniform. I take my husband to the airport for trips away from home, just like you do. I face the very real possibility of sending my husband to war zone, I'm not sure that you do. I have to rip my family's roots out every 3 - 4 years to go someplace new either stateside or overseas, I'm not sure you do. Am I better than you? No. However, I will have to say I probably have a little more variety in my life than you. :)
Many people do not understand the military life - the moving, the deployments, the lousy pay, the bad hours. Many people do not understand why a woman or man chooses to marry into that lifestyle. Many people do not understand why we would choose to stay in that lifestyle. Why do we stay in a life that makes us leave our extended family? Why do we stay in a life that has us make friends only to tell them goodbye? Why do we stay in a life where our kids ask us if daddy is ever coming home? Why do we stay in a life that may take the life of the one we love best?
The truth is: I don't know. Some would say military spouses are stronger than the average spouse, but there is no way to validate that. Some would say we do it for love, but I know first hand that love does not make a deployment easier - it makes it harder! Some would say that we are special made for this life, and maybe we are. Maybe we were made with a mindset that allows us the flexibility and positive thinking it takes to be a successful military spouse.
I sit here writing this while I am thinking about my friend who is leaving this morning. I'm watch my husband get ready for work, knowing he has been up since 3 am to get ready for the day. I stare at his Blackberry with a unique hatred since it has the ability nothing else has to take my husband from me at a moments notice. Through all of this, I wonder what makes us as military spouses survive and even thrive.
We are a unique species, a varient of the spouse. My kids are pretty sure that I have super powers...after all I can be mom and dad. My friends think I'm some kind of saint for my level of patience and endurance. My parents think I'm a step above because I can do all this on my own with threee kids.
However, I'm not Supermom (oh, that hurts to say!). I get tired and plop my kids in front of the TV for peace and quiet. I'm not a saint. I can't tell you how often I have railed at God for the situations I find myself in. I'm not a step above. I'm simply doing the best I can.
I am proud of my husband and his service. I am proud to serve my husband in his service to our nation! Our life is one that not many people lead and few seem to understand. So when you meet a military spouse (if you are not one) please don't say "I don't know how you do it!". Just ask us how we are doing. Ask us if we need any help. You know, things you would do for nonmilitary spouses. If you are a military spouse please don't look a a young spouse and think "she's too weak for this, she won't make it." Ask her how she's doing and if she needs any help. In the end, we are all human, no matter what our spouse's job, and we all need each other.
Enjoy the day!
Many people do not understand the military life - the moving, the deployments, the lousy pay, the bad hours. Many people do not understand why a woman or man chooses to marry into that lifestyle. Many people do not understand why we would choose to stay in that lifestyle. Why do we stay in a life that makes us leave our extended family? Why do we stay in a life that has us make friends only to tell them goodbye? Why do we stay in a life where our kids ask us if daddy is ever coming home? Why do we stay in a life that may take the life of the one we love best?
The truth is: I don't know. Some would say military spouses are stronger than the average spouse, but there is no way to validate that. Some would say we do it for love, but I know first hand that love does not make a deployment easier - it makes it harder! Some would say that we are special made for this life, and maybe we are. Maybe we were made with a mindset that allows us the flexibility and positive thinking it takes to be a successful military spouse.
I sit here writing this while I am thinking about my friend who is leaving this morning. I'm watch my husband get ready for work, knowing he has been up since 3 am to get ready for the day. I stare at his Blackberry with a unique hatred since it has the ability nothing else has to take my husband from me at a moments notice. Through all of this, I wonder what makes us as military spouses survive and even thrive.
We are a unique species, a varient of the spouse. My kids are pretty sure that I have super powers...after all I can be mom and dad. My friends think I'm some kind of saint for my level of patience and endurance. My parents think I'm a step above because I can do all this on my own with threee kids.
However, I'm not Supermom (oh, that hurts to say!). I get tired and plop my kids in front of the TV for peace and quiet. I'm not a saint. I can't tell you how often I have railed at God for the situations I find myself in. I'm not a step above. I'm simply doing the best I can.
I am proud of my husband and his service. I am proud to serve my husband in his service to our nation! Our life is one that not many people lead and few seem to understand. So when you meet a military spouse (if you are not one) please don't say "I don't know how you do it!". Just ask us how we are doing. Ask us if we need any help. You know, things you would do for nonmilitary spouses. If you are a military spouse please don't look a a young spouse and think "she's too weak for this, she won't make it." Ask her how she's doing and if she needs any help. In the end, we are all human, no matter what our spouse's job, and we all need each other.
Enjoy the day!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
A Different Variety
The face of a child with Down Syndrome looks kind of fat with squished together, small eyes and little ears. Yet, when that child smiles I am convinced we have a moment where we can see a glimpse of the face of God.
We live in a world where "different" is bad. The word has a negative meaning no matter how you try to use it. No one wants to be different for fear of being cast out of good company.
I have a boy with glasses. He has been called different and he has been picked on for it. "Four-eyes", "blind boy", ect. He has had his glasses taken from him and he has felt different.
Where does this come from? Where do children learn to pick on and see "different" instead of seeing "variety"? They learn it from us.
Note that I said "us". I did not say you, because I too am guilty of teaching my children things I should not. I have difficulty with the elderly, so I tend to stay away from them. I just don't know what to say and I know I do not have the patience to listen to them. (see...I did it right there...showed impatience for someone "different") Thank God my husband is the polar opposite and has showed me the light. He has also shown my children the light too.
What happened to "Variety is the spice of life"? Why are we so worried about being like everyone else? How dull!! To look like everyone, to think and act and sound like everyone. UGH! Why?? I know why: fear. We fear being the one who stands out. I have proof of this. My oldest daughter got made fun of ONCE and that was all it took for her to become the plainest of wallflowers. She went from starting her own fashion trends and trying new hairstyles, to being a lemming. When I figured that out, I wept.
So, you who read this, I am begging you: watch your words, your actions, your fears, your loves and your hates. You have little eyes upon you. They see what you do and they think it must be ok. We are continuing a terrible cycle when we teach our children that "different" is bad.
I challenge you to remove that word from your vocabulary. Use the word variety in its place. See what a difference it makes not only to the people around you, but to yourself as well.
Enjoy the day!
We live in a world where "different" is bad. The word has a negative meaning no matter how you try to use it. No one wants to be different for fear of being cast out of good company.
I have a boy with glasses. He has been called different and he has been picked on for it. "Four-eyes", "blind boy", ect. He has had his glasses taken from him and he has felt different.
Where does this come from? Where do children learn to pick on and see "different" instead of seeing "variety"? They learn it from us.
Note that I said "us". I did not say you, because I too am guilty of teaching my children things I should not. I have difficulty with the elderly, so I tend to stay away from them. I just don't know what to say and I know I do not have the patience to listen to them. (see...I did it right there...showed impatience for someone "different") Thank God my husband is the polar opposite and has showed me the light. He has also shown my children the light too.
What happened to "Variety is the spice of life"? Why are we so worried about being like everyone else? How dull!! To look like everyone, to think and act and sound like everyone. UGH! Why?? I know why: fear. We fear being the one who stands out. I have proof of this. My oldest daughter got made fun of ONCE and that was all it took for her to become the plainest of wallflowers. She went from starting her own fashion trends and trying new hairstyles, to being a lemming. When I figured that out, I wept.
So, you who read this, I am begging you: watch your words, your actions, your fears, your loves and your hates. You have little eyes upon you. They see what you do and they think it must be ok. We are continuing a terrible cycle when we teach our children that "different" is bad.
I challenge you to remove that word from your vocabulary. Use the word variety in its place. See what a difference it makes not only to the people around you, but to yourself as well.
Enjoy the day!
Monday, September 3, 2012
Labor Day
Today is Labor Day. Horray for a day off!! But have you ever thought about what it means? To labor is to work, usually towards something. What do you labor for?
Some of us labor in our paying jobs. You might wonder why I say "paying". Well, we all know there are a ton of jobs out there that pay us nothing more than a smile. When you labor in your paying job, what is your goal? Do you ever think of those who have labored before you? I have been in the work force before and I remember those times when it was just 9 to 5, I did my job and I went home. I also remember hating my job...ugh, it took all day, I had nothing to do and really, I'm pretty sure my brain was going to mush. However, I wanted to follow in my father's footsteps and be a great enlisted member. I desired to push forward, to labor to be one of the best. I hope that you labor to be the best at whatever it is you do in your workplace.
Now I labor in my love for my family. How, you ask can you labor for your family? I always thought if you loved your family then it wasn't work. I discovered this year that I was SO wrong! I labor in my love of my husband by keeping my house as clean as I can, by cooking dinner, by listening when he needs to vent after a long day at work. Do I always want to clean the house? No. Do I really want to cook dinner every night? Heck no. Do I do it anyway? Yes. Some days better than others, but it can still be work.
I labor for my children...some days at just not burying them in the backyard. Yes, I often threaten to bury my kids when they go nuts. Now with homeschooling my kids, I can honestly say I LABOR! I have to have a schedule for each day. I have to teach them something new or at least reinforce a newer concept. Somehow each day, I work to make sure they don't kill each other. (You know, that whole "I'm stuck with my sisters ALL. DAY. LONG." concept) I love my kids...don't always like them, but I love them. I'm proud of them...most days! Do you see a pattern here?
I labor with my schooling. Trying to find the time and energy to read, write and increase my brain capacity. I don't always do it well, but somehow over the last 4 or 5 years I have found a way to at least just get it done.
I guess the point is, is that we all labor for something. No one sits around doing nothing, each and everyday. Even if they did I imagine that could be considered labor in and of itself. Is my labor better than yours? No. Is your labor better than your neighbor's? No. I think on Labor Day we must remember that we each labor in our own way. We labor how we see fit. We labor for different reasons. We labor with different intensities.
Labor for you. Not for those who are looking and not for those who would compare themselves to you. Just for you. Figure out what is important in your life. What is it that you have as goals? Do you want to be a manager? A mom? A homeschooler? A volunteer? Do you labor for God? Are you content with what you labor for?
I know, more questions than answers. However, I know what I labor for and the purpose of this is not to just vent about me, but to make you who would read this, think. So think...not about your husband, not your best friend, your neighbor, not even your parents. Just think about what you labor for and why.
Enjoy the day folks!
Some of us labor in our paying jobs. You might wonder why I say "paying". Well, we all know there are a ton of jobs out there that pay us nothing more than a smile. When you labor in your paying job, what is your goal? Do you ever think of those who have labored before you? I have been in the work force before and I remember those times when it was just 9 to 5, I did my job and I went home. I also remember hating my job...ugh, it took all day, I had nothing to do and really, I'm pretty sure my brain was going to mush. However, I wanted to follow in my father's footsteps and be a great enlisted member. I desired to push forward, to labor to be one of the best. I hope that you labor to be the best at whatever it is you do in your workplace.
Now I labor in my love for my family. How, you ask can you labor for your family? I always thought if you loved your family then it wasn't work. I discovered this year that I was SO wrong! I labor in my love of my husband by keeping my house as clean as I can, by cooking dinner, by listening when he needs to vent after a long day at work. Do I always want to clean the house? No. Do I really want to cook dinner every night? Heck no. Do I do it anyway? Yes. Some days better than others, but it can still be work.
I labor for my children...some days at just not burying them in the backyard. Yes, I often threaten to bury my kids when they go nuts. Now with homeschooling my kids, I can honestly say I LABOR! I have to have a schedule for each day. I have to teach them something new or at least reinforce a newer concept. Somehow each day, I work to make sure they don't kill each other. (You know, that whole "I'm stuck with my sisters ALL. DAY. LONG." concept) I love my kids...don't always like them, but I love them. I'm proud of them...most days! Do you see a pattern here?
I labor with my schooling. Trying to find the time and energy to read, write and increase my brain capacity. I don't always do it well, but somehow over the last 4 or 5 years I have found a way to at least just get it done.
I guess the point is, is that we all labor for something. No one sits around doing nothing, each and everyday. Even if they did I imagine that could be considered labor in and of itself. Is my labor better than yours? No. Is your labor better than your neighbor's? No. I think on Labor Day we must remember that we each labor in our own way. We labor how we see fit. We labor for different reasons. We labor with different intensities.
Labor for you. Not for those who are looking and not for those who would compare themselves to you. Just for you. Figure out what is important in your life. What is it that you have as goals? Do you want to be a manager? A mom? A homeschooler? A volunteer? Do you labor for God? Are you content with what you labor for?
I know, more questions than answers. However, I know what I labor for and the purpose of this is not to just vent about me, but to make you who would read this, think. So think...not about your husband, not your best friend, your neighbor, not even your parents. Just think about what you labor for and why.
Enjoy the day folks!
Sunday, September 2, 2012
First Real Blog
This blogging thing is popular now. Remember those days when we just sat around and talked to each other? Or picked up the phone? Kept a journal? Or even wrote a book and crossed your fingers to have it published? This times are beyond gone it seems. Such a shame, to me anyway. However, use the technology available and make the best of it.
So why am I doing a blog? I guess somewhere along the line I realized that I read other people's and they do occasionally encourage me. Other times they make me think of things I should have already been thinking of all along. Of course sometimes they just plain make me laugh! I realized that I have an opportunity to do the same. I enjoy writing, but I don't often have the chance just to sit and write. Besides I'm not a woman that can write without a purpose.
Who am I and why do you care? Well, I can't make you care, but I can tell you about me. I'm an the only daughter of an Air Force vet of 25 years, I am an Air Force vet of 5 years, I am married to an Active duty Air Force 1st Sgt who has been in 20 years, I am the mother of three children all under the age of 9, I am a Christian (so yeah, I'll talk about God sometimes), I'm sarcastic, I'm funny (to myself and my family anyway), I love people, and even though I don't know you, I'll call you family too!
I am crazy enough to homeschool my children, David-9, Katie-8, and Emily-6, and since it is the first year I'm crazy enough to do this it is not always pretty! My kids do not always like me at the end of the day and I don't always like them. Doesn't mean I don't love them anymore (yes, I know, double negative) but like..eh, not so much. My husband David tells me daily he has no clue how I do it and I tell him I don't know either! haha
I still go to school myself, so you'll probably hear me vent about my crazy, insane, mean, or just plain stupid professors! Not really, but I'm sure I will vent. The class I'm taking now...well, this man must think all I have to do all day is read his stuff! I mean really man! Ugh. Ok, I'm done now.
Ok, so you know me a little better now. I know not all the questions are answered and I may never answer them all...girl has to have her mysteries! :)
I'm gonna go frost a cake with my girls. Then we are gonna eat it! Night all!
So why am I doing a blog? I guess somewhere along the line I realized that I read other people's and they do occasionally encourage me. Other times they make me think of things I should have already been thinking of all along. Of course sometimes they just plain make me laugh! I realized that I have an opportunity to do the same. I enjoy writing, but I don't often have the chance just to sit and write. Besides I'm not a woman that can write without a purpose.
Who am I and why do you care? Well, I can't make you care, but I can tell you about me. I'm an the only daughter of an Air Force vet of 25 years, I am an Air Force vet of 5 years, I am married to an Active duty Air Force 1st Sgt who has been in 20 years, I am the mother of three children all under the age of 9, I am a Christian (so yeah, I'll talk about God sometimes), I'm sarcastic, I'm funny (to myself and my family anyway), I love people, and even though I don't know you, I'll call you family too!
I am crazy enough to homeschool my children, David-9, Katie-8, and Emily-6, and since it is the first year I'm crazy enough to do this it is not always pretty! My kids do not always like me at the end of the day and I don't always like them. Doesn't mean I don't love them anymore (yes, I know, double negative) but like..eh, not so much. My husband David tells me daily he has no clue how I do it and I tell him I don't know either! haha
I still go to school myself, so you'll probably hear me vent about my crazy, insane, mean, or just plain stupid professors! Not really, but I'm sure I will vent. The class I'm taking now...well, this man must think all I have to do all day is read his stuff! I mean really man! Ugh. Ok, I'm done now.
Ok, so you know me a little better now. I know not all the questions are answered and I may never answer them all...girl has to have her mysteries! :)
I'm gonna go frost a cake with my girls. Then we are gonna eat it! Night all!
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