The Power of Touch

As I lay in bed last night, in pain from things I should not have been in pain from (long story), my husband reached over and began to rub my back.  Nice, gentle rubs...not too hard because it might cause me more pain, not asking for anything more, but just a nice touch. A "hey, I'm here for you" - kind of touch.  It actually made me feel a little better.  I mean, the pain didn't go away, but it was comforting and relaxing to have that easy touch.

It made me thing about the power of touch and how we seem to have lost that in the US.  Think about it, people don't just reach out and touch you, do they?  Sure, you get a hand shake, and maybe even a business like hug...but a stroke on the arm, a real hug, a kiss on the cheek?  No, not really.  We value our personal space too much.  Those kind of touches are a European thing, right?

Then, I thought about our children.  It's natural for them to pat us on the cheek, to give us a kiss, to run up and give us a big squeezer hug!  And I don't just mean the kids that belong to you.  As a Girl Scout leader and a once school volunteer, I had kids giving me hugs, holding my hands, touching me all the time!  I love it!

It's also a natural reaction for most of us to pick up a crying baby-to hug them and love on them and give them kisses.  It's natural for us to rub their back, their hair, their face.  It's natural for us to physically comfort them when they get hurt.  Think about it...how many boo-boo's have you kissed??

With children we don't just stand back and say "buck up, kid.  You'll be alright!".  No.  We offer them the comfort of our touch.  So why are we so uncomfortable doing that with adults?  We could get into trouble hugging someone else's kid, but we often do it anyway.  We can be perceived a very nasty way when we touch a child not ours, but often our natural inclination is to do it anyway.  So, what holds us back with adults??

I don't honestly know the answer.  I know I enjoy the  physical touch of other people.  I know it comforts me when my girlfriend gives me a hug on a bad day.  I know when I'm sad or hurt and someone rubs my back or shoulder I don't feel quite so alone I the world.  I'm betting most people feel the same way.

I decided quite a while ago that I would give in to the need to hug people, touch people and be near people when I felt that..."hey, this person needs comfort" or "hey, this person could use a little love" or even "hey, let's show a person just how much we care, are excited, ect.".  I won't lie...it puts some backs up.  I get weird looks sometimes.  Most of the time, though, it's almost a relief, on my part and theirs, that someone expressed a little human comfort in the form of a touch.

So, I encourage you today...give someone a hug.  Touch them on the shoulder.  Remind someone that they are not alone.  Step out of your personal space bubble, into someone else's, and give some comfort and love.  It's weird and awkward at first...but you'll get used to it eventually.  And you never know whose life you might change!

Fasting

Fasting is an interesting, and almost forgotten concept here in America.  I'm reading my Bible study (go, me!) and the topic this week is fasting and feasting.  At the moment I've only made it through the fasting part and I feel the need to let my mind wander on the subject.

Fasting has to be a foreign concept here in America.  I mean, how many of us heard "finish your food, there are starving children in China"?  Or we were chastised for skipping a meal and told how unhealthy it was for us.  Food has become a twisted thing here in this country, what with so many people obese, and other so skinny it's a sickness.  Going hungry voluntarily must look just a little crazy.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are other ways to fast.  People might do a media fast, or a chocolate fast, or even an electronic fast.  Those are still good ways for us to reach out to God, and I encourage anyone to fast from something they believe takes up a good chunk of their day.  (No, that doesn't mean you can fast from your children...I believe that is actually illegal, which means someone already tried it!)  Fasting in any form I would imagine is pleasing to God, since the end goal isn't to loose weight or save electricity, but to get closer to Him.

Food fasting, though, probably has a special place in His heart.  Very rarely in the Bible do you see people fasting from anything else.  You might say, well, they didn't have much to fast from.  Ok, true, but they could have just fasted from wine.  "All you people go, fast from wine, and pray!" No, doesn't have the same impact.  There must be something special about food.

There is something special about food!  It sustains us!  We need food to nourish our bodies.  We need food to keep us from getting headaches, stomachaches, cranky tempers and just general body shut down.  When we willingly choose to give up the thing that sustains our life here on earth, in favor of having deeper communications with God, I have no doubt He is pleased.

So, why don't more Christian do it?  Why don't we hear more about fasting for our nation?  Fasting for an upcoming vote?  Fasting for a decision regarding a war?  Fasting for our children?  Why has fasting seemingly gone by the wayside?

Maybe there are more people out there that fast and we just don't know about them.  The Bible does tell us that fasting is a private thing, only the faster and God should know.  However, there are plenty of times in the Bible where whole nations have fasted...entire cultures, households have abstained from food.  Why don't we do it any more?

My personal belief is because we don't want to look "weird".  We don't want to be labeled freaks and we don't want to find out that the people we believe close to us might think we are crazy for even attempting such a thing.  So many people today do not want to stand out...especially for faith.  Besides, don't we have so  many other things to do, so many places to go?  We just don't have time for staying in one place, not eating and just praying.  We have obligations and families that count on us.  We can't let them down.

Yet the Bible tells us our most powerful tool is prayer.  Can you imagine 12 hours of uninterrupted prayer time?  Not having to worry about food, or people, or your family, but just spending time in communication with God?  Can you imagine the things you could tell Him...and the things He could tell you?  Can you imagine the reaction your children would have (after the initial shock, of course) and how they might learn to pray and dedicate themselves to God in a whole new way?  Can you imagine the impact your prayers might have, if you could focus on them more fully?

We have some serious stuff going on in our nation, our families, our homes and our lives right now.  There are so many examples of tough times in the Bible, where the people met them, not with action, but with fasting and prayer.  The outcome of those times is amazing.  Forgiveness, redemption, salvation, hope, life...the list goes on.  I think it's time we returned to a tried and true method of reaching out to God.  I think it's time we returned to fasting and prayer.

Disgruntled Spouse

There is nothing worse, in my mind, than a disgruntled spouse.  Namely when there is nothing you can do to help them.  When the issues are work related and there is nothing you can do but sit there and let them vent.  Those are the worst kinds of days.  Those are the helpless days and sometimes, the remarkably hopeless days.  I hate those kind of days.

I especially hate it when my spouse has one of those days and suddenly hands me everything I want on a silver platter.  "Let's quit this job, retire, own a home and be a 'real' family again."  Why, sure baby!  Just what I've been asking for these last, I don't know, 3 years.  I'm totally down with all those plans.  Too bad those plans look like they are making my husband miserable.  Sigh.

I spent several hours last night talking my husband out of just that.  The whole time I'm saying all the things I never thought I would have to say, part of my brain is poking the other part of my brain asking it why the heck it wasn't doing the happy dance??!!  Why was I stammering and leaping for something, anything to make my husband convinced that he was still doing a good job, that he was still needed in this Air Force?  I've probably lost my mind.

I guess it means I'm married and I actually love the bonehead I'm married to.  I hate seeing him so unhappy, so disappointed and so discouraged.  I just plain hate it.  So even though, I would love to say we're retiring...we're not.  All because I opened up my mouth and said no.  Sigh.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not any happier to live this kind of life than I was before.  I'm not pleased that my  husband stumbles out of bed at 3am every morning just to keep up with work, and falls asleep on the couch at 8pm every night (when he is home, that is).  I'm not happy that my kids ask where daddy is on important days and just nod and smile when they are told he's helping an Airman.  I'm not any happier that my children look as though the world just got handed to them when daddy does show up to things or actually has the energy to play with them.  I don't think it should be like this, but I know it is for a purpose. 

I have seen the good my husband has done.  I have seen the lives he has saved, changed, improved and helped.  He is exceptional at his job.  It leaves little room for anything else in his life, but I know it is important.  Our military, our Airmen, need someone like him to stand up for them when no one else will.  I know these things, and I guess that's why I refused the silver platter. 

I just hope I don't regret it later.