My daughter told me the other day "I feel like God is telling me I'm going to be challenged, and that this is going to be hard". It struck a chord in me because I had been feeling the same way.
Some of you know I have to have surgery again. I have some things growing inside me that just aren't supposed to be there. I'm pretty certain that the children I have a miracles from God, because as messed up as my insides are, I should not have had kids! Anyway, I was sent up to the Army base here to have surgery and was recently told that they cannot do my surgery. They don't have a certain specialist on staff and don't want to risk needing that person when they open me up.
The surgeon recommend me going stateside to have the surgery. That brought up so many questions for my family...where will they send me? Can my family come with me? How long will I be stateside? Whew! On and on - the what-ifs were eating me alive. Not to mention they may deny me going stateside and tell me to have surgery here in Korea.
Over all of this is the hurry up and wait...hurry up and wait while the pain gets worse, the sickness increases and my day is limited because exercise and stress makes the pain worse. You guys know I am not good at this waiting thing. That being said, I'm having to model patience and faith to my children. They, too, are worried and impatient. They have their doubts and fears. Something a person never thinks of before they have kids is can I hide my fears in front of my children? Can I over come the stress of a situation to put a good face on it for the kids? I'm hoping that most days I succeed.
In the meantime, life carries on. Our holidays aren't really holidays any more, but more like times of service. I'm almost ok with that...almost. OK, not really. I have to admit I miss the times when holidays were about the family I'm related to by blood and not about my extended AF family...but I know we did good this year. Airmen were fed and loved on, they go to experience the joys of family with kids and all, and I know how to get them to leave without asking. Put on a kid's movie! About half way through the movie they were bored senseless and were more than willing to go home! hehe. I never said I was a nice person.
We also hosted our extended Korean family for a little holiday here at the base. I think they had a good time...I think. They are so polite and friendly, I bet they could have been bored senseless and never said a word! I know the kids enjoyed their visit, especially since they got to meet one of the sons of the family. He even played basketball with them!
We were given Korean names and we even use them occasionally. The irony of mine is that it sounds just like AWOL. That's right...absent without official leave. hehe. Go figure!
We are trying to get back into seeing the sights of Korea...as much as I can before the pain kicks in, sigh. We saw Seoul tower and dropped a ton of cash doing it! Pretty, yes. Expensive, yes. Worth it...maybe. At least my husband will quit nagging for us to go. Next stop, Incheon...Gateway to Korea.
I guess that's it for now. I suppose this makes up for my lack of posting on Facebook. :)
